there I was reading Great Expectations, and hey what a book, but I'm still ploughing through it, and I downloaded some audio books of bittorrent. These were the God Delusion by Richard Dawkins and How to Know yourself by the Dalai Lama. In some ways it seems our future informed societies could be based on these two books.
I started into the Dalai Lama book but the guy reading it really wrecked my buzz so I gave up on it and started listening to the God Delusion.
It is actually read by Dawakins and (I Think) his wife. This works really well as it breaks up the monotony of a single persons voice. And one person will to the quotes while the other does the narrative.
The books itself is enlightening. From the outset it makes no apologies for saying the purpose of the book is to convert you to atheism!!! An outlandish claim. Why would anyone want to be an atheist. Someone who believes in nothing. Some one whose life is empty. Some one too weak to pray or lacks the conviction to live by the lords laws.
However when you think about it - atheism is a brave stance. It means I need no crutch. I need no compensation. This life is it, so live it well, get on with it and rejoice in simple things.
Am I an atheist? I think some part of me is since becoming an adult. And this isn't just a disillusionment with the church, I think all Irish people have taken a step back in recent years. I personally I no problem with the church at a local level. But I suppose my problem is that I am a devout scientist, but that sounds so stale, perhaps what I mean is that I am an enlightened person and I refuse to believe that the world is flat, that the sun revolves around the sun, that the earth is 6,000 years old, that we all originated from adam and eve and more recently from moses.
To think that we are expected to believe that every single living object on the planet was on that ark, never mind that all the animals, but think it means we all originate, whites, blacks, Chinese, aboriginal, from Moses. I think its funny when some racists say blacks aren't as evolved. Surely if you believe in the Moses story you would have to say they are more evolved because they had to evolve black skin since the time of Moses where as we westerners still looks the same. And in fairness who believes that Moses looked like Charlton Heston. Isn't that just the was the church of old and subsequently Hollywood wants us to think of them, to feel some association. Surely moses must have looked a lot darker than us. Lets not even get on to Jesus.
At any it I can't stand here and say yes I agree with creationism. How do I balance the two? I see the religious right in America as the inevitable conclusion of christian faith in the western world. America sneezes..... We are typically about 2 decades or may 15 years behind them in our culture, e.g. bottled water (everyone remembers the guy from ballygowan being laughed off the late late) obesity, technology.
I think the label of atheist carries such heavy connotations with it. I think what I would like is to keep trundling along with popping into church every now and then, the alacart christian, which I think so many of the irish are, but stay true to my inner beliefs. Do I get my morals from the church. I don't think so. Will I be happy when I am close to death to have a priest stand over me and say hey don't worry I'll make sure you get in, when really I can imagine looking up at him and saying, yeah but come on, I don't really believe in heaven.
The question is what am I clinging on to here. I think part of it could be that its all too awkard now to back out of. Am I trapped? Imagine if I was come out! I would have to call off the church wedding, could I swear what I have to swear? Is there too much at stake?
Part of me says just tag along and keep your head down, it'll be all ok. But is that good enough. Is that what I want my life to be???
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